It’s a tourist attraction, really. That’s what they say, at least. I’m alone. My roommate flaked. Dumb excuse. It’s just a library, I suppose. That’s what I’ve been told. But it’s not just a library. It’s so much more.

Look up. The ceilings are smothered in art by angels. Blues and greens and golds. Lots of gold. Big windows. Ceiling windows. Natural light pours through. The colors of the wall changes by the minute. Focusing on anything else is an impossible task- I keep getting distracted. My neck hurts from staring above me. The rooms are so big that they’re forced into silence. One could hear a pin drop. My footsteps echo. Click click click. Marble everywhere.

A large divide. Very easy to tell who’s authentic “New York” and who’s here on vacation. Pages are turning and keyboards are clicking. So many keyboards. Just two decades ago it’d be all paper. Everyone’s either too focused on their work or too focused on the actual beauty of the library itself that it’s nearly impossible to catch someone’s attention. Madonna could walk in and no one would notice. However the minute you cough to clear your throat, a hundred classic “New York” bitch-stares glare your way.

No flash photography. “Maam? read the sign, pleeeease?” Tourists are walking up and down the aisles as I’m trying to focus on my assignment. Focus, focus. Focus on them. Mother dragging her daughter behind her. But she wants to look out the window!!! “Excuse me, pardon me” doesn’t exist. Getting to your destination is a physical event.

People aren’t here for the books. If I wanted to check out a book I wouldn’t know where to begin. Must be the case for most libraries nowadays. Good place to think. A good place for good ideas. Tick-tock. Time feels frozen but moves oh so fast. Got lost in my thoughts. Oh no, I’ve been here an hour. Do the assignment. Focus, focus.

No food. No one told me I couldn’t eat; Logical assumption. It’d be easy to sneak it in, though. Throw in a pretzel every now and again? Foolproof. Gum. Lot’s of it. I’ve had two different sticks. First lost its flavor. Neighbor asked for a piece. “Of course”, I said. “But I’m on a college budget”, I thought.

I am safe. The collective chaos of 5th avenue ceases to exist through these cold walls. Inhale. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight. Exhale. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight. I am here. I am present. I am alright. I am new. I am fresh. I have reset. So many stairs. Marbel of course. No, I did not check out any books. You have a nice day, as well, sir. Oh, how I love rotating doors.